Sugar Withdrawals = Insanity

(Yet another one...big cyber-declutter tonight. This one originally published April 4th, 2006, after I became convinced that all the evils of the world resided in sugar and it must be erradicated from my diet immediately. Also, any brands mentioned will be instantly recognisable to Aussies but perhaps not to those living overseas, but I think you'll get the general gist. Substitute in your own recognisable brands of sugar-laden candy and junk food - the end result will be the same!)

I must be insane.

That's the only reason I can think of to explain why I've forced myself into a self-imposed sugar detox this week. After buying a 12pk of Freddos/Caramello Koalas to have on hand as 'treats for the kids' (I needed some housework done...and they respond particularly well to bribery) and having them 'disappear' a mere 24hrs later, I realised I needed help.

Hello, I'm Lizzie. I'm a sugar junkie.

Chocolate is by far my most feared and respected nemesis. Don't know how Cadbury manages it, but they've got me to ransom. And whoever makes M&Ms (is it Mars Confectionery?) sits firmly nearby, ready to shoot peanut M&Ms into my mouth at the drop of a hat. It's completely not my fault, I swear. I'm just an innocent victim. Maybe I should sue? LOL.

So what follows is an account of the first day of sugar restrictions. I lost a lot of good friends on the battlefield today. RIP Sugar. I'll miss you mate.

Tuesday - Day One

Oh good Lord, what have I done? I was only 'allowed' 1 tsp of sugar with my cup of tea this morning and you wouldn't believe the difference half a tsp of sugar can make, but I missed every single grain. Don't have sugar on my brekky cereal anymore so that one was easy.

Mid morning: another cup of tea. Searching for snackfood. None there. Cursing plan to eat remainder of Tim Tams last night so as to start with clean slate today. A rich double-coat Timmy would go down sweeeeet with this cup of tea....hang on! Remember the mantra Lizzie. Chocolate is evil. Apples taste just as good. Chocolate evil. Apples good. Chocolate....blood sugar dropping....diabetic coma approaching.....

Lunchtime: ham salad pita. Am trying the theory that injecting one's body with super-healthy foods will help make me feel full. Darn nutritionists! What would they know? Even one of the ten nutritionists DIDN'T recommend kids eat Weetbix...

Afternoon: another cup of tea. Feeling faint, and cuppas are my only 'legal' source of added sugar. Resist the urge to up-end the sugar bowl into my mug. Feeling virtuous so decide to make fruit 'salad' with pears and apple. Forget I don't really like pears. Eat them anyway.

Dinner: French Onion Steak, mashed potatoes, vegies. Ahhhhh, sweet, sweet carbs. You're not eating your dinner sweetie? Give it to Mummy.... Massive injection of salt from soup mix that went on the steak. Tastebuds seem super-charged. Feel like I have swallowed the ocean.

After dinner: Is it 9pm yet? Is it? Is it? Go to kitchen to make LONGED FOR hot chocolate. Chocolate and sugar, sugar and chocolate. One of my few allowances. God bless you Mr Jarrah. Switch on kettle. Hang on a tic...what's that? Oh, its just an ant. Hmm. He's brought some friends. A lot of friends. Cripes! Ant invasion on kitchen bench! I am proud to say I only looked longingly at the hot chocolate mix for 10 seconds then dealt with the pest control issues first. Yay me.

Right, ants gone. Kitchen bench actually clean now. Bonus. Back to making that cuppa. Switch on kettle again.

"Mum?"

Nope, didn't hear it. If I don't hear it, it doesn't exist.

"Mu-um!"

La la la la la la la la la la.....

"MUM!!!"

Auugh. Drag myself to kidlet's bedroom to discover Miss Moo standing in her doorway, feet firmly planted in rapidly expanding puddle of wee. On carpet. Not the tiles 20cm away, but the cream carpet. Pick up child, place in shower. Return to scene of the crime and spot clean. Return to child and spot clean. Return child to bed. Return to kitchen. Switch on kettle for third time.

Look over my shoulder. No kids. Look over my other shoulder. No ants. Right - ACTION! Cuppa made (and half of favourite TV show missed, aughh) rear in chair, bliss.

It's only 2 and a half hours late...

Cheers,
Lizzie