(© Amreta's Graphics Corner)Auughh! I just found out that our usual respite worker is on leave next week! Because we are really comfortable with her and use the service only every couple of months, we don't see the need for having a second worker 'on the books' just in case - which, as the case may be, is right now. But anyhow, this means that my birthday dinner next Wednesday is a fizzle. At least in the capacity I imagined it anyway.
When Hubs and I go out on Date Nights (and use this service), we're fairly predictable in what we do - we eat at a moderately-nice restaurant (ie, no plastic playgrounds but still comfy enough to wear jeans and a t-shirt, LOL) and then we go and see a movie. Nine times out of ten we even come home early. But this being my birthday I'd asked the service for a couple of extra hours and we were going to squeeze in another activity and really make a night out of it. Alas, its not to be. It's not that we don't like to take the kids out to 'real' restaurants, its more that feeding all five of us already costs us near on $30 even at the Golden Arches, which is just about the cheapest we can do it. Which is why Date Nights are so lovely - real, actual cutlery is involved, and as any parent of an under-8 can tell you, that's a stand-alone luxury when we're talking about eating out with the kids in tow!
Now that the kids are a little older, we can conceivably take them along to places like The Guilded Fork or The Silver Plate or whichever moderately nice restaurant strikes our fancy. A couple of years ago, this wasn't the case. But even now, having to cut up someone else's meat, or mop up spilled soft drinks, or pay $8.25 for a large bowl of fries (because, after all their moaning, that's all they'll want to eat!) doesn't exactly set the scene for a nice, romantic birthday dinner :P Much as I love the little mites, I was so looking forward to handing them off to the babysitter for the night.
At first I had a bit of a mini pity party - no birthday dinner? Preposterous! - but then I got a hold of myself and realised that for this one time, we can take the kids out to The Guilded Fork, and for just this one time, we will wear the evaporating cash and spilled drinks with good grace.
But if I have to pay upwards of $10 for a meal with a drink for the little angels, then they're gonna eat every last bite!
P.S. The other option is to go ALL out and take the kids to the movies as well. There's pretty much only one film playing that is appropriate and that's Ratatouille. Tickets for all five of us? Shudder. Including the restaurant, I can't see this option happening for less than $100, probably more. First, I'd have to negotiate the minefield of a frugal-from-conception husband. Then, presuming he agreed, he'd have to want to see yet another saccharin-sweet Pixar flick! Oooh, its a close call....
Cheers,
Lizzie
3 comments:
Having "Date nights" sounds so nice! I can't remember the last time DH and I were able to go out kidless.
Oh and I know what you mean about how expensive it can be to take everyone out for dinner. My two teenages eat like adults so like you, going to the golden arches costs anything from $30 to $50 for us (6 of us, 7 when the baby demands happy meals!)
I hope your birthday will be a wonderful day for you regardless of what you do :)
Oh, I'm so sorry that your original plans didn't work out. But you seem to be handling it with grace, so my hat's off to you.
I watched something the other day on tv and they were saying that the biggest help you can be to a mom of a child who has a disability (she was the mom of a child with autism, btw) is to offer your babysitting services. Do you not have any friends who might be willing to help you out just for this one evening?
Lori -
Unfortunately, no, and neither do we have parents who are close enough to hand the reins over to either. Our friends are lovely, but they're not in the right 'headspace' to accept all three kids for 5-6 hours. We've loved the respite service so much because the kids have really developed a rapport with the worker. She's lovely - and I certainly can't begrudge her some time off work, LOL!
J is a pretty easy going kid these days. Honestly the autism doesn't come into play in terms of babysitting as much as that whole rapport thing between the worker and the three kids as a collective unit does, if that makes sense. When our worker is here, she basically just supervises the bedtime routine - the kids are already fed and changed and she just plays with them and makes sure they get to bed on time. They go down at 8:30 so that's usually a whole 4 hours before we even get home - which she's free to spend however she likes - TV, read book, catch up on her own paperwork, etc. It's quite a cushy arrangement I guess for her, as she's used to a lot more 'demanding' clients in her role as carer (a lot of elderly folks requiring personal care services). Even though she's not actually *required* to use her 'hands on' caring skills when she's here (no toileting help, no dressing etc) it still makes us feel more secure to know that she has the required qualifications (first aid etc).
Babysitters (the every day regular type, the ones that aren't marketing themselves as nannies) are a dying breed, I think. I don't know of any teenagers that do this beyond their own immediate family. I know as a parent, I personally would not use a babysitter, however recommended, unless I knew her personally through other means. It's just a Mama thing, I think :)
Cheers,
Lizzie
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