Happy Homemaking ~ A Good Attitude

(© Susan Rios, "Content By The Sea")

I’ve had a horrible day. I have a tummy-ache, the kids are in their most atrocious, loud form, and Hubs has plunked himself down in front of the computer, completely ignoring the ever-growing mound of dishes I’ve been unable to load into the dishwasher because bending down hurts like I’ve been kicked by a horse.

Hang on a minute.

Did you see what just happened then? It wasn’t my various aches and pains, an inconsiderate husband (he’s not, for the record!) or my high-decibel children that ruined my day.

It was my attitude.

You might be wondering why I’ve chosen to start off this series on Attitude and not Menu Planning, Budgeting or Housekeeping. After all, meals, finances and housework are a homekeeper’s bread and butter, aren’t they? And when they’re all going smoothly, you’re happier, right? That’s the first mistake most people make. The first thing you need to adjust isn't the meals you serve or the money you spend. It's your attitude.

Let’s look at two examples:

Sarah’s husband works long hours every day at a job he hates, but he does it because ‘that’s just what husbands do’. Despite the hard-earned income, Sarah is resentful of the time he spends away from home, and more specifically, for his inability to help with the housework she hasn’t had a chance to get around to. After all, she’s had a horrible day too. After the children went off to school she checked her emails for an hour, instant-messaged two other friends, and went out for lunch. She was even waiting half an hour for her meal to arrive! By the time she got home, it was virtually time to pick up the children again. As soon as they’d all stepped foot inside the house, the noise started. Snacks, attention, reading, paperwork from the school – it was all so exhausting, she’d had to lie down for a nap. She’d risen at five minutes to six and thrown some sort of frozen meal into the oven to cook. There won’t be any vegetables for dinner tonight because she hasn’t got the energy to peel/slice/grate whatever lurks at the bottom of her refrigerator. When her husband gets home, looking stressed and dragging his feet, Sarah greets him with a grunt. The look she gives him when he spies the unwashed breakfast dishes and crazy children is one of “Don’t you dare ask me what I’ve done all day.”

Oh my.

(If you couldn’t see anything wrong with the above example, then you’re in the wrong place. Swing on by one of the gazillion feminist blogs. Nothing I say now (or in the following eleven parts of this series) will make a lick of sense to you – in actual fact you’ll probably end up alternatively shaking your head, laughing and pitying my ‘dark-ages’ attitude. Run. Run now. Before any of this ‘Happy Homemaking’ stuff rubs off on you, LOL)

Many of us go through life in a perpetual state of ‘What if..?’ What if I just replaced those grubby sofas in the living room? What if I could buy that costly outfit? What if we moved into a more expensive neighbourhood? We seem to think that if we just had those things, then life would be easier, better, more enjoyable, less stressful. We’d have ‘arrived’. But arrived where? Bone-crushing Debtville? Happiness isn’t reflected in the balance of one’s bank account. Rather, we choose to be happy, and how we do that is all about attitude.

Let’s meet our second homemaker.

Samantha rises early and throws on a load of laundry in between waking the children and preparing breakfast. She packs her husband a lunch and sends him off with a smile, a kiss and an “I’ll miss you.” The kids are eager to help clean up after breakfast and each gets ready for school (or homeschool) without a single grumble. Samantha’s day is filled with cleaning, baking, sewing and preparing the evening meal. Because she rose early to get a head start on these things, she has time in the afternoon to work on her own projects, and today she has decided to potter about in the garden. After the children finish school, there’s a healthy snack waiting for them. Afterwards, there are stories with each child and each finds something quiet to do while Samantha puts the finishing touches on dinner. When her husband walks in the door, weary after his long day, he glances around to find a clean kitchen, quiet, happy children, freshly cut flowers from his own garden and a beautiful, well put-together, smiling wife holding out a cup of tea (or a cold drink!) His tough day instantly forgotten, the family collapses onto the sofa for a cuddle and a discussion about the events of the day before sitting down to a nicely set table and a simple, tasty meal.

In Philippians, Paul encourages us to be content wherever we are, and with whatever we are given. It’s all about attitude.

Sarah already hated her day before her feet even hit the floor. All she could see in front of her was a day full of dreary, never-ending work, children who were too loud and a husband who was unappreciative of her ‘efforts’ and seemed to be stuck in a perpetually sour mood. Why bother when that was all that awaited her?

Samantha, on the other hand, saw her time at home as a way to show love to the people around her. She remained grateful and thankful that her husband’s hard work and their good budgeting skills allowed her the option to stay at home while so many of the women she met felt they had to work in order to sustain a lifestyle that ultimately saw neither spouse spend enough time with each other or the children.

Though Sarah and Samantha’s husbands worked the same hours and earned the same amount, which do you think was the richer family?

Though it may sound a tad trite, you are in control of your own attitude. You can choose to look at your role at home with frustration and resentment or you can get a kick out of serving those around you. If the laundry is piling up, remember that for some, a second or third change of clothing is a luxury. If you are frustrated with your outdated, mismatched furniture, remember those who sit on rocks and sleep on dirt.

Suddenly feel really thankful for what you have? I know I do.

Links: If you need a reminder...

Cheers,
Lizzie