Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Birthday Party Etiquette

Grandma George)

The reasons for me not posting for a few days would be instantly evident if you popped your head in our front door right now.

It's the school holidays.

In Australia, the school year ends somewhere around the second or third week of December (it differs between the states - my state finishes up mid-December). We have our summer holidays stretching out over Christmas and New Year's and through until a few days before the end of January (again, there could be some minor discrepancies in the other states), for about a six-week break. In my state, we have a four term school year - terms are roughly 10 weeks each followed by a 2 week break (except, of course, after Term 4, when the 6 week break comes).

School let out here on Thursday. Four days later and the kids are already alternating between the 'Thick As Thieves' and 'You Are Not My Brother!' mentalities. And we haven't even hit the flip-side of Christmas yet!

In other news, Hubs is in his final week of his 'big deal' training at work, the part that strongly 'suggests' (ie, you have no choice) living at the training facility for the week. In reality, it's only four days and three nights, but at 2am last night when I couldn't sleep, I was brought back to the 'old days' where his nightshifts would often see me unable to sleep just because he wasn't immediately to hand. The lovely little mite text-messaged me at 7am this morning to tell me his first day yesterday had gone well. There's nothing like the shrill ear-piercing beep of an SMS alert from the phone you've placed on your beloved's empty pillow to wake you up!

Something is playing on my mind this morning though. Tomorrow is my daughter's 6th birthday. Because this time of the year is necessarily crazy with the end of school activities, Christmas concerts, class parties and so on, I went the easy route for a 'party' for her. We did the same thing last year - invited her friends around for a Christmas movie, pizza and popcorn and just hanging out. I think I may have thrown together some basic party bags but that was about the extent of it. I thought I was being clever - it's six days before Christmas for pete's sake and I know from a mum's perspective the last thing I want to think about right after school breaks out and I'm crazy-busy with Christmas preparations is another child's birthday party to attend. The concept went down quite well last year.

This year, it doesn't appear to hold the same appeal.

Oh, my daughter is totally thrilled with the idea. She just wants her friends around. But the parents don't appear to be on board. Okay, so I probably didn't give anywhere near enough notice - I handed out invitations on Thursday and the 'proxy party' is Wednesday night. But I figured the informal nature of the gathering kind of explained that, as did the whole 'everyone's just as busy as I am, they're gonna appreciate the low-keyness' thing. Um, perhaps not.

I had an RSVP for Monday (yesterday). When I gave the invitations out on Thurday I had one mum tell me right off her daughter would be there and I'm not exactly sure but I'm assuming a second little girl and boy (twins) are coming just from the attitude of the mum on the day. I invited a total of 6 kids that day (still have to ring friend - mother of another set of twins - today, but the short notice won't bother her). Of the 5 that remained (one acceptance on the day), I didn't get a single RSVP by the due date. Even assuming the first set of twins can attend that's still three people who didn't bother to give me a call, two of which are my daughter's best friends!

I'm not sure whether I should be offended at this or not. On one hand I do realise this was incredibly short notice (no matter what kind of party it was going to be) and that - *ahem* - I'm not exactly known for my prompt RSVP-ing skills either (which are totally going to change after this!) On the other hand, auuugh!!! I mean, it's not like I have to cater - I can just add another pizza or two to our order on Wednesday night. But in terms of things like getting enough gear for the party bags? They're not going to be elaborate but I'd still like to know how many of them I have to make up! At this rate I think I'm going to have to just make all 11 (8 invites, 3 of my own kids) and then if folks don't show up, use the leftover stuff for our Lucky Box (ten ticks on their Values Chart gets them a choice of rewards, one of which is choosing something from this box of markers, crayons, stickers, small toys etc).

So the party is tomorrow night. I really hope this doesn't end up being one of those horrid, torturous childhood memories for my daughter - you know, the type - "When I was six, nobody turned up to my birthday party!!!" But what can I do? Sigh.

Cheers,
Lizzie

7 comments:

Vanessa said...

Hope your daughter's party is wonderful! I'd love to hear about your "Home Management Binder". I'm the one on 1Peter3Living who posted about the Hubs and Cleanliness problems. It sounds like you've got a routine. I have one too... but needs to be tweaked and would love to peek at yours. Sounds like you're doing a great job!

Lizzie said...

Hiya - glad you popped in :)

Best place to start (if you haven't already) is in the 'Apparently This Is The Popular Stuff' section in the left sidebar (Home Management Binder description is there) and in the 'Routines, Schedules & Cleaning' section in the right sidebar (for a basic run through of my schedules). Other than that, email me anytime and of course we'll chat on IPeter3 :)

Cheers,
Lizzie

Scattered Mom said...

Jake's birthday is on Friday and we often have had this issue. Last year we rented out the local pool for an hour and invited his ENTIRE class and not ONE person RSVPed. I was so worried that nobody would come so I began calling everyone. In the end, about 25 kids did. WHEW!

This year it's one friend, the movie theatre and pool again, and then home for a great dinner and chocolate cake.

Lizzie said...

Oh gosh, I don't do parties well. I tried once - 8 special needs kids. I was a bundle of nerves for a week either side! I knew then that I wouldn't want to repeat it - others do it wonderfully, me, not so much. Since then it has been a standing offer to the kids of a family day out (zoo, movies etc - five kids plus lunch for everyone and it can get expensive all on its own) or inviting two friends over. I don't know why I didn't listen to my own advice this year, sigh. J's birthday was on Nov 8 and we only just has his 'party' last weekend - invited two friends bowling - we paid for the kids to bowl (only one kid came in the end) and everyone paid for their own food afterward. Totally casual.

I'm just not one of those full on birthday party giving mums! That's why I liked the pizza idea - so simple even I can't trip over myself :)

Cheers,
Lizzie

Lizzie said...

whoops, that should have read 'five of us' or 'three kids', not FIVE KIDS. Good grief! Case in point - Hubs likes to go to the zoo to take photos of the animals and the last time he was there it cost him $20! For one adult!

Cheers,
Lizzie

libby said...

Despite the late notice there is still no real excuse not to RSVP. Unfortunately it does seem to be going out of style.
I can't believe the above poster who got no RSVP out of 30 - that is shocking. It's a sad world when people can't be bothered to pick up the phone to RSVP but then turn up to the party.
Hope everything goes well and for the sake of dd6 that her friends do come. How frustrating that you don't know how many though.

Libby

Lizzie said...

Libby -

I just went ahead this afternoon and bought supplies enough for the full 11 kids, and we'll see how we go. The 'definites' list has now hit 6, including 3 of my own (I called my friend and her twins can come, as well as the original 'yes' kid). Still waiting on the other 5 though...

Cheers,
Lizzie

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