Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Birthday Party Etiquette - Part 2

In approximately 6 ½ hours, kids will start to arrive for Miss Moo's 'proxy party'. Or will they?

As it stands now, at 11am, there are six definites out of 11. And three of them are mine. Two of the remaining three 'yes' kids gave a yes immediately when I called their mother yesterday afternoon. They're thrilled - they moved away several months ago and now go to a new school and Miss Moo hasn't had much of a chance to catch up. Their mum is staying during the party so I'm looking foward to a nice cup of tea (ha, who am I kidding?) and a chat.

But FIVE people simply didn't bother to RSVP at all. I have no idea if they'll be turning up. I have to assume at least a couple of them will. I bought supplies for the full 11 party bags, just in case. I'm making the full quota of cupcakes today. Though I do expect an extra couple to come, I can't help but feel more than a little peeved. I know it was meant to be an easy-going thing, just pizza and a movie, but two thoughts keep running through my head:

First, my daughter has no concept of the difference between a 'full-on' party and this 'easy-going party' thing I've set up. She just knows it as her birthday party. She had the same thing last year and every child (similar numbers) turned up. So how am I meant to explain to her that FIVE of her friends just didn't feel the need to bother? RSVP-ing to say you can't come due to other commitments is one thing, but this? Thankfully Miss Moo doesn't really get what's going on with the whole 'rude people not calling' thing - but I do. And it breaks my heart. And do you know what else? I'm second guessing my whole year - did I annoy Mum A, or take a little too long RSVP-ing to Child B's party? It's ludicruous!

And second, I sort of quasi-planned this party to be a really laid-back event. So seriously, if you can't come, I totally understand. It is six days before Christmas, after all. We're leaving this weekend for the inlaws where we'll be over the holiday, and I have a to-do list a mile long. But I'd never completely ignore an RSVP. I said 'laid back', NOT 'Open House' on the invites. I can't tell you how annoyed I'd be if they all turn up - sounds counter-productive, doesn't it? LOL. I'm totally expecting a couple of the non-RSVP-ers to be on my doorstep come 5:30. But sheesh.

I will tell you one thing though - I will never miss another party RSVP date in my life. Especially not to a birthday party for a small child who has their heart set on having all her friends over to play.

Update, 1:30pm - we've had another yes, at around 12 noon (sheesh...but still). With only four hours to go, I think it's a safe bet the others probably won't ring. Sigh.

Cheers,
Lizzie

2 comments:

stacey said...

a total pet peeve of mine as well!

i hope the party goes great!

Scattered Mom said...

Aw Lizzie, that's terrible. Jake's birthday is in December too, and we've gone through years of the same thing. This is how I've countered it.

1-send out the invitations 2-3 weeks ahead of time, and even plan it earlier then the actual day. As staff parties and things begin filling up calendars, people have less time to go to birthday parties. We found the first week of December to be most successful.

2-phone the parents a week before the party to remind them and get an idea of the numbers. Let them know that you are doing something that requires a "head count" and politely ask for a yes or no. Many are just busy and will give you a commitment right then.

In the end, sometimes kids still don't show up. We invited 10 kids to Jake's 9th birthday and three told him they were coming and then didn't show, and 2 got very sick. One of the ones that didn't show lived across the street from us and when Jake asked the boy why he didn't even call (because he said he WAS coming), the parents told him that they would give him a gift.

Then they never spoke to him again.

Some people just have no clue, do they?

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