The next time I leave the house, I'm going to staple the key to my forehead.In a scene straight out of a movie, I was running late. Bags, kids and clothes were flying in all directions. In the midst of it all, I set aside my green shopping bag. Inside the bag were my worldly possesions. Keys, phone, purse, sunnies. All of life's little essentials.
In the mad scramble for the door, I managed to forget to grab my green bag. I had only walked three steps down the driveway before I did the international symbol for 'doh!' -- smacking myself in the forehead. The kids thought it was a game and began smacking their own foreheads. I was too stressed to tell them to stop...and besides, it gave them something to do while I panicked.
Right, first things first, kids off to school. Thankfully they had all the necessary stuff on them. While we were walking I was trying to figure out what the best course of action would be.
Option 1: Call DH, he'll know what to do.
Why It Couldn't Work: DH was uncontactable today. For the last three days and for the next three weeks, he'll be completely and utterly work-free, but today, the only day he can't pick up his mobile, I manage to lock myself out. Thanks again Murphy.
Option 2: Call a friend.
Why It Couldn't Work: I don't know anyone's number by heart. My phone is my address book. My phone is right next to the keys in the green bag on the kitchen table. If I could get to the phone I wouldn't need to ring them anyway!
Option 3: Break in myself.
Why It Couldn't Work: Didn't I go through the house last night, as I do every night, and secure each door and window? Wait a minute...did DH use the loo this morning? Is the ensuite window open? Can I push the screen in? Um, no. All doors and windows very, very securely shut.
Option 4: Ask old owners if they kept a key.
Why It Couldn't Work: I shudder to think of how weird it would be if they said yes...
Option 5: Go to the shops and kill some time.
Why It Couldn't Work: No money. Purse next to phone and keys in green bag! At a pinch I guess I could have walked 15mins in the rain to the library, walk home to pick up Miss Moo from kindy, walk back to the library again, walk back to pick up B from school, walk home to meet J's bus, the walk back again to kill time until 5:30 when DH is due home...but somehow I didn't think so.
Option 6: Call a locksmith.
Why I Hesitated: I'll look really, really foolish, not to mention never being allowed to live it down with DH. That, and locksmiths are expensive buggers. Nobody likes to spend money on something that wouldn't have been an issue had they paid attention in the first place!
I ended up borrowing a phone book from the lovely girls in the school front office. Initially thought of calling DH then realised that even if he could talk, he couldn't leave work. And if by some miracle he COULD leave work, he was an hour away. Two hour round trip to open the door for your doofus wife? I think not. Instead, I rang a locksmith who was able to get out here in 20mins.
Scrambled home in the rain. Waited, freezing (no jacket...was only supposed to be a 'quick' school run) until Mr Adam turned up. Young bloke. Ridiculously handsome. Tried hard not to look.He informs me that he'll have me inside in about 60 seconds. I inwardly groan, as the call out fee was $95. Not even high class 'escorts' get paid that much for a minute's worth of work. Then again, considering his looks, maybe it's well worth it?
Several minutes later, there's mutterings about it 'taking a bit longer than I thought'.
Twenty minutes later he finally stops using that clicky gun thingy in the lock. The front door has him stumped, so he jumps the fence to the back. Laundry has a sliding door to the outside. He tries there first until I remember it has an internal pin as well as a screen door lock and sliding door latch lock. Righty-o.
Moving round to the back, he manages to pick the screen door lock then realises the internal sliding glass door has no keyhole, meaning you can't open it from the outside anyway. We're left with the front door. Man that guy can jump fences...I only looked a little bit that time.
After drilling holes in the lock, demolishing it, and doing all sorts of secret locksmith business, the door magically swings open. However the lock itself is now in pieces (and filings) all over the doorstep so he spends a further 30mins rebuilding my door. By the time he was ready to leave, he'd been there 1.5hrs. And he still just charged me $95. $60 per hour seems a lot more reasonable!
On the way out he tells me I've set a new record...his longest ever 'lock out'.
And all this because I didn't check I had my keys! I now know exactly where I'll hide the spare...
*Originally posted (old blog) April 6, 2006
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