Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Anniversary

("Mother and Daughter" by Willow Tree figurines)

I said to myself that I wouldn't post today because it was terribly cliched and irrelevent.

Today marks the first anniversary of Mum's passing.

I'm not wallowing in a pool of pity (*smile*) but I did find myself a bit quiet and reflective so far today. In a couple of hours, hubs and I are taking a drive a few suburbs over to the beach, and I'm going to take a moment to scatter her ashes in the water. We used to live in this beachside suburb and the last time Mum came down for a visit we all (kids, spouses, grandkids etc) spent lots of time at this particular stretch of sand. It was the last time we visited together - Mum had been living with my sister across the country and money was just too tight (on both our parts) to travel more than once every year or two.

I'm not one to solemnly walk out to the water dressed in black, crying, and giving a speech. That's just not me. I certainly didn't want to make a big deal about scattering her ashes. The urn is quite tiny (each of us four kids took a portion home with us after the funeral). I sort of consider it a private thing and so it will just be me out there. Hubs will hang back at my request. The children don't know that Nana was cremated and certainly don't know that we've had her ashes in our walk-in closet for the last year. They're all at school today.

And because I don't want to have the entire day be negative, afterwards hubs is taking me out for lunch :)

Later this evening I'll ring my siblings. It has been quite a long time since I spoke to my brothers and we're all drifting further and further apart. I think this happens often with families - nothing really happens, you just wake up one morning and realise that you're not exchanging as many phone calls or emails as you used to. I think its about time we all make more of an effort in that regard. There's also a little 'stagnant water' hanging around under that bridge of ours too (LOL) which needs addressing. But not today.

Today I may even drag out Sense & Sensibility and Pride & Prejudice (VHS) and slip into some old memories. My copy of P&P (the BBC version) was a present I gave to Mum for Mother's Day one year when I was a teenager. And the two of us saw S&S at a matinee movie screening not terribly long after :)

If your mother is still with you, give her a call today :)

Cheers,
Lizzie

3 comments:

Elle said...

I will call my mom. Sorry for your loss. I'm sure you have so many fond memories. Hugs.

Carrie J said...

Hugs to you. I hope things went as planned. Unfortunately I think it is up to us girls, most of the time, to encourage everyone to keep in touch. It isn't that the guys don't want to they just don't think about the same way we do. I agree it is very important to maintain the relationships. God Bless.

Lizzie said...

Thanks Carrie - they did. The weather was a bit surreal though - I ended up sprinkling her ashes in the sea off the end of a jetty near where I live and not far from where we'd spent some time letting the kids splash on her previous visits. Off in the distance there was a storm brewing and the wind was fierce - I had to climb down a little bit on a staircase (the divers use it to enter the water) and the waves were all foamy and dramatic (*smile*). I had to 'gently' coax the ashes out of the teeny urn though - she didn't want to leave!

Afterwards we went to a pasta restaurant for lunch, just me and DH. It wasn't a sad day at all.

Cheers,
Lizzie

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