Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I Think I'll Go Rock In That Corner Right Over There

I just happened to glance up at the calendar and GOOD LORD IT IS NEARLY THE WEEK OF CHRISTMAS AND I HAVE DONE ALMOST NO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AND HELLO, WE’RE TRAVELLING OVER THE SILLY SEASON WHICH LEAVES ME WITHOUT THOSE EXTRA COUPLE OF DAYS SHOPPING AND…

That wasn’t me shouting. That was my brain exploding with nuclear force.

This is the VERY last year I say to myself, “Oh wow, how lovely is this ‘no shopping, no stress’ Christmas thing? I love not beating down the other shoppers! I enjoy the complete absence of a ‘to buy’ list. Oh joy!” The absolute last time I say that because it is COMPLETE AND UTTER BUNKUM.

I will be shopping for Christmas ‘09 with my back-to-school gear in mid-January, thankyouverymuch.

We are in a state of chaos. We have perhaps a fifth of our list done. We’ve never left it this late to shop before. I don’t know WHAT I was thinking.

Over the course of six days I have to:

Shop for FIFTEEN PEOPLE.

Buy two additional presents, one of which is our daughter’s seventh birthday gift and the other my MIL’s birthday gift for January.

Post a last minute parcel.

Wash every scrap of clothing we own.

Pack five suitcases.

Clean the entire house.

Auto-post a ridiculous amount of content for Lizzie’s Home.

Buy this year’s ’special ornaments’ for the kids (they each get a new one every year)

Finish a handmade Christmas present (at least two night’s worth, maybe more).

Empty and scrub the fridge.

Book a restaurant for Moo’s birthday on Friday.

Bake a dog cake for said child’s birthday. I may get away with a dog-themed icing transfer and a bakery cake if I’m lucky. Poor Moo.

Take the kids out for breakfast on Moo’s day.

Spend at least a portion of Friday on a ‘Family Fun Trip’ for Moo’s day (we do special things in lieu of a party).

Make several phone calls relating to the puppy the kids are getting - or rather, the promise of the puppy they’re getting - for Christmas.

Fit in a trip to the cinema. And yes, I realise how silly this sounds given what I have to do but I try to carve out a little ‘me’ time each year to go see whatever holiday film is on and I’ll be doing that this year too, even if I have to sell the children to manage it.


School is out for the year, and Talented Hubby is on annual leave for the next several weeks (phew) but we literally only have until Sunday night to shop for EVERYTHING. I promised the kids we would try to fit in a day where each of them would come out with me alone but I’m going to have to start sucking down those Red Bulls if I’m going to pull this one off. TH also has to go back into work Saturday (long story), so that’s one less day for shopping, unless I bribe them all with sugar and drag them all with me. I love my little people to pieces but their patience (and my own) only goes so far and we’re talking INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH Christmas shopping here - and everything will take six times as long because there’s a bazillion more people out there panicking in the exact same way. Compounding matters is the fact that the Australian government just gave most parents and carer’s $1000 per eligible child with instructions to ’spend up big for the economy’s sake’. Personally, ours will go toward our trip and the cost of set up for the puppy, but there are enough people in the shopping centres carrying PlayStation and Wii boxes for me to know where at least SOME of the government’s money is going.

Godspeed Lizzie. Godspeed.

Sigh.

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